Transcript

Chainmail Merchant: GET YOUR CHAINMAIL HERE! 

Jay (Narration): At the King Richard’s Faire, you begin your day donned in no more than peasant cloth. Luckily for you, Dez’s armory is right by the entrance of the woodland fairground.

Dez: We sell chainmail, handmade, stainless-steel, custom-fitted, custom-made, whatever people like. Ya know, we got necklaces, chokers, bracelets, link shirts and belts and such.

Jay (Narration): After haggling with the no-nonsense merchant, you are shouted over by a kindly woman sewing on a bench. Lisa is the village chatelain, keeper of the keys. She gives you directions to your first destination and advice about what to expect.

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Lisa: Oh, there’s so much! There is delicious food, there are entertaining acts, there are… just sights, sounds, colors, smells. It’s quite the experience. I think it really is- come in with an open mind and have an adventure!

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Dragon Alley Merchant: Here we go! Up to Dragon Alley! Through the shoot-a-doo! Hatch that egg! Hatch that egg…

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Jay (Narration): Dragon Alley is bustling with folks perusing eggs and dragon-scale armor. You meet Fiona, a traveler with an animatronic, steam-blowing dragon on her shoulder and memories of this Faire stretching back to elementary school. Oh, and her dragon blows real steam!

Fiona: [toy growls] So I had a RoboRaptor, circa 2005. I completely took him apart, put him back together again, messed around with the servos, messed around with where…

Jay (Narration): Fiona also gives you the inside scoop on the best Faire snack.

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Fiona: You gotta get the King’s Nuts. They’re sugar-coated nuts. My favorite are the pecans. They’re over by the jousting area. They actually are my dad’s favorite, so even though he’s not here today, I’ve been told I have to go pick him up a bunch of them and bring them home.

Jay (Narration): [nuts crackling] In the jousting area, the nuts smell heavenly and crackle inside the machine. But you’re quickly distracted from the pecans, by —[sword clang] is that sword-fighting in the arena? A maiden named Jordan introduces you to the scene.

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Jordan: So right now, I’m looking at two knights that are in hand-to-hand combat with each other- or actually, sword-to-sword combat with each other. Sword-fighting, if you will. And they are hitting the swords against each other’s shields. Each part of the crowd has a different knight that we’re rooting for. And we have the green knight, who is currently held at bay with his horse.

Jay (Narration): While watching the combat together, Jordan keys you in about her most anticipated event of the day: a circus performer by the name of…

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Jordan: Jacques Ze Whipper. He’s a whipping professional comedian on TiKTok who will be performing in 9 minutes, and I’m very excited to watch him whip things. 

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Jacque: Hi guests. Let me see hear, let me see hear, let me see hear. If you’d like to see the whip show, lemme hear you say oui oui. [crowd repeats] If you’d like to see the whip show, lemme hear you say hon hon hon. [crowd repeats] If you’d like to see the whip show, lemme hear you say do it nowwww. [crowd repeats] We’re starting off with this one. Sing along with us. I know you guys know it. [singing] Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum… I’m gonna whip some more. The French army was better than people think. They won a lot of wars-

Jay (Narration): Despite the rain, you spend the day surrounded by the most interesting people. Each attendee embodies creativity, and you just get how roleplay empowers the expression inside us all.

[overlapping voices:]

Liz: My DND character? [dice roll] She is a sorceress who has mind abilities, aberate mind kind of powers, so she can do like psychic stuff. 

Harrison: I have a black vest and this like thrifted – I don’t know what to call it – like froofy collared and sleeved shirt, with like an ornate vest and a dragon crown.

Lisa: So the character I am portraying is the village Châtelain. I am the keeper of the keys. My job as the Châtelain is to- I unlock all the municipal buildings.

Dragon Alley Merchant: [dice roll] We got a 64-95 dragon!

Liz: But she gets that from a creature that’s attached to her that sometimes takes over her body and kills people. So everyone currently hates her, but it’s not her fault. She’s just really mentally ill.

[overlapping ends]

Jay (Narration): Ok, maybe we should keep an eye on Liz’s character. But Jordan turns to you and says it best.

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Jordan: The energy is eclectic and extremely vibrant. I think the rain has caused people to, you know, bring out the sun within themselves if that makes sense.

Jay (Narration): And as you depart, with a stomach full of mead and tired from laughter, you feel you gained so much more than a new chainmail vest. This is Jacob Kemp, Dungeon Master of this story and reporting journalist at Northeastern University. Faire thee well, my friends. [Bagpipes]